ways I ruled the school in 2010

2 Jan

And now, a list of things I did that were awesome in 2010*:

I started baking bread, making yogurt and cheese, stock, and all manner of edible stuffs.  I now cook almost all of the food meals that we eat.  As soon as I figure out how to make a cheese-it, I’ll be in business with that last bit…  I started fixing and mending things, and generally questioning my own aptitude for doing it myself.  I’m doing a lot of sewing.  I’m discovering that I previously bought some bad hype – namely that there is a reason these things are available in the store and that their creation/fabrication is beyond my reach.  I’m beginning to cultivate delusions of grandeur, which are a welcome shift from my prior self-doubt and anxiety.  These delusions lead to some hilarious google searches, such as “urban goat farming” and “how to make a mirror.”

I was a great parent.  Ida is so cool.  Obviously most of the credit goes to her on this front, but I think I get a little.  She eats all kinds of food, has good coping skills, is curious about the world around her, is healthy, sweet, and just generally a delight in the world.  She shows all signs of being healthily attached to me and Nathan, and loving the world around her.  If I don’t do anything else right throughout the rest of my life, at least I nailed this very important thing.

I started saying “no” more.  This has led to a major upswing in sanity and peace in my life.  While I really love spending time with people, I’m an introvert through and through, so always saying “yes” when a fun or meaningful opportunity to spend time with other people presents itself really drains me.  I now don’t usually feel over-extended and I feel better able to manage stress and frustration.

I upped my participation in actively trying to not kill the earth and it’s inhabitants.  I joined a (arguably) humane and sustainable meat CSA, have gotten more involved in local agriculture through farmers markets, started buying stuff in bulk or other minimal-to-no packaging, and am trying to make what I can and shop more responsibly for what I can’t (yet…..).  I switched to cloth rather than paper/plastic in a number of areas (cut up old tee shirts rather than paper towels, cloth diapers and wipes, produce bags), and am trying to cultivate a more permanent, as opposed to disposable, view of stuff.  I also switched to homemade or scary-stuff-free cleaning solutions.  I often guide myself with the principal W.W.J.D. in this area.  Obviously, that’s pretty funny on one level.  But on a more serious note, I think Jesus might be a communist radical earth-lover after all.  Glenn Beck is going to be pretty upset if this is the case.  Well, actually, if the future continues to resemble the past, I think Glenn Beck is going to be pretty upset no matter what.  Anyway…

I started waking up an hour before Ida does in the morning and using the time to read a book that I enjoy.  I prep the coffee-maker so that all I have to do is push the little button and crawl back into bed with my book.  This hour has really changed the way I approach the day.  Having the first thing on my agenda be something I really enjoy has been transformational.

I started to hope and dream about the future again.  Now, this can obviously get out of hand sometimes, and cause me to derail from the perfection of the present.  But for the most part, this is really good news.  The last few years have been so crappy and full of failure and rejection that ambition for the future feels like kind-of a miracle.  I’m starting to loop my pinkies through those boot straps…  No pulling yet, but the potential alone is refreshing.  An upside of having trudged through these last couple crap years is that I no longer feel frantic to take immediate action.  I’m more thoughtful about my ambitions now, really exploring their potential to aid my happiness rather than just blindly jumping in.  I’m also deeply grateful just to be in homeostasis.

I grew in a faithful perspective.  This – even writing this – is a bold move for me.  I feel like revealing myself as someone who believes in God, and some part of the Christian religious tradition after my near-miss with fundamentalism is a little outrageous.  But here we are.  It’s true.  I had a really rough couple of years, and felt invisible, and made a lot of changes.  No matter how I have tried to re-work it in my mind, I just couldn’t divorce myself from the idea (at turns comforting and infuriating) that God saw me.  I made a lot of peace this year and found a lot of strength in my insides.

What were your feats of awesomeness this year?  If we all start telling each other the ways in which we’re thriving, I think it might help us to feel a little better about the general state of things.

*also, sometimes I don’t do any of these things – at which point I usually just order a pizza and indulge in some television bingeing.

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One Response to “ways I ruled the school in 2010”

  1. Mary January 4, 2011 at 5:33 am #

    Lovely.

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