Archive | September, 2011

The Scariest Halloween Ever

13 Sep

This evening, Nathan and I were discussing our plans for Halloween.  For some reason, I feel very excited about Halloween this year.  I attribute this to two key factors (in this order):  1.  My saved archives of Martha Stewart’s annual October edition of Living, and 2.  Ida and her debate among pine cone, bee, or bat as her selected halloween costume theme (she chose bat in the end).  Anyway, I have decided to go apeshit over Halloween this year (read:  I have used post-its to denote the crafts/recipes/suggested merrymaking that I plan to enact from Ms. Stewart’s catalogue, purchased $8 worth of second-hand decorations at The Brown Elephant, and……. that’s it).  It’s going to be rad.

This brings us to the matter of grown-up Halloween costumes.  As an adult, I’ve never really gotten into Halloween.  I can’t remember the last time I really dressed up (I usually just throw on some dance costume and go as a……….. dancer).  I think being a performer makes the whole thing kind-of less special.  Plus, I wear crazy clothing on a regular basis for fun already.  In discussing my plans with Nathan, I asked if he would be dressing in costume.  This began a lengthy brainstorming session.  If you’ve ever had a similar conversation with Nathan, you know that he is not interested in generating actual plausible ideas, but is instead engrossed in rapidly amassing a list of things that there is no way he’ll be, but that he finds hilarious (see Baby Name Debates of 2009 for reference – examples:  Bathsheba, Medusa, and Roxsis which I’m pretty sure he made up.  I really hope so.  No one should be named Roxsis).  It was in the middle of this fray that I suggested Aladdin.

We both cracked up for some time.  And then things got real.  Really, scarily real.

N:  “I’ll get a small rug, we’ve got a small rug that I can use, right?  In the basement?  Anyway, I’ll get the rug and I’ll stiffen it somehow.  Something light for sure.  Then I’ll cut a hole in the middle of the rug.  I’ll make paper mache legs in a cross-legged-pretzel-sitting position.  Those will go on top of the rug.  Then I’ll wear black pants on the bottom and an open purple vest on top.  Wait.  What does Aladdin wear?  Wait.  No.  I’ll make the legs out of nylons.  I’ll leave the waist on, and stuff the legs and pin them in the position on top of the rug and then I’ll pull the rug up around my waist, and I’ll make a harness and straps, and I’ll be in the middle.  That way I can wear them like a belt and I’ll wear the rug underneath.  I think I’m going to wear tight black pants underneath (ed. note:  ???).  And I’ll roll-step (ed. note:  yes, he brought marching band into this) around so it looks like I’m floating.  NO!  I’LL ROLLERBLADE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Other fragments:

“I’ll make a paper mache monkey for my shoulder.”

“I need to learn all of the dialogue so that all day, I can speak in only Aladdin lines.”  Ed. note:  I hope this also includes songs.

“I know exactly how I’m going to do this.”

“I wonder if I can wear my costume to work……..”

I think he’s going to do it.  I think my husband, who is also the father of my child, will be Aladdin for Halloween this year.  I think he intends to be Aladdin at his place of business.  I think something really incredible is about to happen.  I’m afraid, but I kind-of like it – very Halloween.